November 2019 God called me to an assignment. 

He came to me in a dream.

I knew it was Him as I was beginning to recognize when the Holy Spirit would nudge me from within.

In my dream there was a book cover with the title, The Change in Us.  It was plain white with black writing.

This dream didn’t come as a total surprise.  I had spoken with my husband Jayson many times about writing a book in our then, 13 years of marriage. The time had never seemed right, until the morning after the dream.

I knew in my heart.

This was it.

God had whispered approval.

He had provided the title, but the blank white cover gave me permission to create.

The thing was my life at that time was so busy.  I wondered how I would find time to even start something like writing a book.

 I was working full time at a Christian school my two children attended, and my husband had just started a company.  The launch of a new company was stressful for our whole family, but especially my husband.

This left me solo handling the responsibilities in the household and kids extra curriculars.

I wrestled with the idea for a couple months, that there was no way I had time to write a book.

But it didn’t take long for the conviction to set in that I wasn’t obeying a calling from God.

So, I prayed.

During one of my prayers in February of 2020, I felt God say, “make time, trust me.” 

I decided to start small and put in for a vacation day at the school for February 26 and went home after dropping the kids off to begin writing.

One paragraph at a time I realized this calling was not just to complete a book.

This calling was a gift from God, for inner peace.

My emotional and spiritual health had been crying out for something.

I would learn soon that He was using this as a way for me to heal from my past and to grow in faith, and that maybe in doing so, it would eventually help someone else as well.

As I continued making time for these short writing sessions, my fingers soaring across the keyboard, tears would stream down my face as I realized what was coming out on the pages was short stories of hurt that I had kept tucked away for decades.

Although, I had given my life to Christ in 2010 and had felt the change in my life from knowing and having a relationship with Him, I had hit a wall.

I couldn’t move any farther in my walk with the Lord until I delt with the past and extended forgiveness where necessary, in obedience to scripture.

This calling would not be easy, but I was realizing it was a gift.

I had to dig deep and remember so that I could sort out the hindrances in my spiritual journey.

As I did this, I began to see how God had been with me all along, I just hadn’t let Him in.

Walls were crumbling around my heart.

Not long into this project my eyes were completely open to what God was doing and I couldn’t stop writing.  Although it was not easy, I decided that I needed to quit my job and stay home to complete this calling from God, that was bringing so much peace within.

I had faith that Jayson’s new business would meet our needs financially and that somehow this would work.

Early March 2020 I put in my letter of resignation explaining that I would finish the school year through May but would not be returning.

 A week later shockingly the school shut down due to the Covid 19 pandemic.

I was sent home with my children and a promise that my pay would continue as my contract with the school would still be in place, even though I had no job duties that I could preform at home.

I couldn’t believe it!

Even though the stress of the pandemic was real for everyone, I had all this time to write, and my income would not change at all.

As I kept working on my manuscript, I started researching my publishing options and what all that would entail.

I had been feeling the urge, to call my first boss I had at the school, but that I had never had a personal relationship with.  She was much older and wiser than I and at this time in my life I needed someone like her to talk to about all that was happening.

When we met, we chatted about life (mainly the pandemic as it was roaring) and the school, and family.  Then, I shared with her about my dream and the book and how I was researching different avenues of publishing.

She was excited for me and surprised me when she said, she knew an author who had published a few books, and that she would give me her contact information.

I was beyond enthusiastic to talk to someone who had written a book!

I called the author that afternoon.

She was so kind and helpful and gave me the name of two publishing companies she had worked with, one of which she provided the name of the company, and the founder.  I was drawn to the fact of an actual person rather than a company name.

June 6, 2021, I contacted Athena Dean Holtz, founder of Redemption Press.

She kept our conversation centered around Christ and was just the encouragement I needed.

I sent my very raw manuscript that evening to be reviewed.

This was terrifying!

Although this was my book that I had poured heart and soul into, in obedience to God.  This was also my personal story, and it was not pretty.

My book was read and reviewed by the managing editor.

Then eventually by the grace of God, excepted, and a contract soon drawn up to publish.

God had paved the way and made that process so painless.

Then came the blow.

I didn’t know the very high cost that came with professional editing, typesetting, a cover, a proofreader, marketing help and then eventually distribution. All the correct steps necessary to fulfill this calling to the best of my ability to Glorify God.

When I got the contract and looked at the amount, my heart sank.  I had no idea how I was going to afford to see this book taken all the way to publication.

But I felt so strongly that God had called me to do this, and that He would make a way.

Jayson had just begun to get draws from the new company and this was the first time in our life together that we had a decent savings account.

Nothing within my soul felt right about depleting our families reserves for this book project.

Admittedly I was growing discouraged, thinking the worst.  That I had made a mistake, and this was not going to happen.

Then, in perfect time, God came through.

We received an unexpected message from our accountant that we had made a mistake with the company taxes by almost the exact amount that was needed to fulfill this contract.  We were told to cut the check back to ourselves for personal use.

Jayson and I both instantly agreed this was an obvious gift from God!

He was making a way.

I signed the contract June 16, 2021, and our finances have done nothing but flourish since.  Even though I quit my job and wrote a very large check to publish my book.

God knew what He was doing from the very beginning, even though in my flesh, I feared, wondered, and doubted.

God promises He is with us, He is for us, and if we are saved, He is in us.

I pray we never forget that.

Has God called you?

Have you gotten that nudge from the Holy spirit to do something that seems beyond your ability?

Have you hesitated because your ducks aren’t in a row?

 Have you doubted that if you jump, He will not provide?

Have you pushed the idea aside as being crazy, or as being something, you could never do but maybe someone else could?

Friend, if God has called you, He will equip you.

If He has trusted you with an assignment, you are capable, in Him.

If you know it’s God, have faith it’s the right path for you and He will provide.

Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepard of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to who be glory forever and ever, Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21 NKJV