Inside The Change in Us
"I hated my life. I had been in this same tiny house with these same people for twelve years and nothing was changing. My dad’s drinking was getting worse, the fighting was becoming more frequent, and the abuse hurt more and more."
"My mom, always a caring mother, couldn’t be there for my brother and me like she wanted because she too lived in constant fear. She spent my childhood days bandaging heart wounds induced by the man she had said vows with."
"Sitting on that bathroom floor that night, I put the pills in my mouth, and time stood still. Clearly, at age twelve, I knew right from wrong, and that this was not the right thing to do. But I so badly wanted some sort of attention from someone, anyone, who would just take the time to care about me."
"There were many times when I would run to my room after a session of physical and verbal abuse from my dad and see if he had left any noticeable marks on my flesh. But nothing I saw on the surface even remotely compared to the wounds I felt on the inside."
"The worst feeling I ever felt as a child was the helplessness of watching my mother—my favorite person on earth, my heart—getting shoved to the ground. I would rather have taken a fist to my face than witness that."
"My dad’s promises of change were only made to regain the control that he desired over our lives."
"Growing to accept the lie that I was unwanted and unworthy of love, I pulled as far away from my family as I could and consumed as many substances as it took to lessen my fear of being alone."
"I carried baggage that often came out in my emotions and would eventually need to be dealt with. The intensity of these emotions only grew as I quit the drugs that helped me forget the memories."
"These haunting words that so easily flew off my tongue on the day I went to reconcile with my dad wound up being the last thing I would ever say to him."
"When I closed my eyes, I saw my dad’s face. The terrible face of death. Then, my thoughts turned to panic! Where had he gone? I still didn’t know much, but I knew that although he was dead and his body was in the ground, “he” had gone somewhere else."
About the Author
Heather N. Stover
Heather Stover is a wife, mom, professional singer, worship leader, and now an author. Through her personal struggles with family, addiction, health, and loss, she found faith in Jesus that has carried her through. She makes her home in a small village in Ohio with her husband, Jayson; their daughter, Savannah Love; son, Noah Jay; and a goldendoodle named Evie Blue.
When she’s not playing music with her husband, she enjoys riding bikes, taking daily walks, spending hours in bookstores, sipping coffee, and eating all the good treats. Heather and Jayson have learned to make prayer a priority in their home and to keep God at the center of their lives.